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Telehealth Trauma Therapy in Aliso Viejo, CA & across California
AGES 9-12
When Your Preteen Isn’t “Just Being Dramatic”
If symptoms have lasted longer than a month, your child’s nervous system may be stuck in survival mode.
The preteen years are a bridge between childhood and adolescence.
They are more aware than younger children, but they don’t yet have the emotional regulation of teens.
When trauma happens during this stage, it can look confusing.
You might notice:
Sudden mood swings
Irritability or anger
“Not caring” attitude
Shutting down or isolating
Racing or flood thoughts
Hyper-awareness
Trouble sleeping or nightmares
Poor performance in school
Replaying events over and over
Replaying trauma through play or storytelling
Impulsivity
Anxiety that doesn’t make sense
Trauma in Preteens
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Trauma in Preteens *
Preteens often understand what happened.
But they don’t fully understand how to process what happened.
Their bodies may:
Feel jumpy
Have stomach aches or headaches
Struggle to fall asleep
Wake from nightmares
Their brains may:
Blank under stress
Assume they’re in trouble
Expect the worst
Stay on high alert
Common Trauma Experiences
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Common Trauma Experiences *
Trauma at this age can include:
Bullying
Medical procedures
Accidents
Family conflict or divorce
Loss of a loved one
Emotional neglect
Witnessing violence
School-related humiliation or social rejection
How trauma therapy helps
In preteen trauma therapy, we focus on helping your child:
Feel safe in their body again
Understand what happened without reliving it
Regulate big emotions
Reduce anxiety and hyper-awareness
Improve sleep
Build confidence
Strengthen attachment and connection at home
I use an attachment-focused approach and incorporate Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) when appropriate.
EMDR helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer feel like they’re happening right now.
Instead of being “stuck in the past,” your child can feel present again.
Therapy looks like:
Therapy at this age is structured but developmentally appropriate.
We may include:
Talking through experiences
Creative expression
Regulating the nervous system
Resourcing skills
EMDR reprocessing (when ready)
Parent sessions for support and strategy
Parents are part of the process.
You will not be left out of your child’s healing.
The goal
The goal isn’t to erase what happened.
The goal is to help your preteen:
Think clearly under stress
Sleep through the night
Feel less reactive
Trust themselves
Stay connected to you
Move forward without their body constantly bracing for impact
Trauma does not have to define this stage of their life.
Preteens are incredibly resilient, when given the right support.
Your Questions, Answered
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EMDR therapy is an evidence-based approach that helps the brain process traumatic or overwhelming experiences so they no longer feel as distressing. EMDR does not require retelling every detail of your past. Sessions are paced, collaborative, and focused on building safety while reducing emotional intensity.